


i been caught up in the riptide

by knightnox



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Divorce, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, autistic foreman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:14:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27692623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightnox/pseuds/knightnox
Summary: Got pulled by the current 'til I'm runnin' out of breathGot dragged back down feel the water in my chest
Relationships: Eric Foreman/Chris Taub
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	i been caught up in the riptide

**Author's Note:**

> its a combination of childhood trauma stemming from his parents having a messy divorce and self worth issues that drive taub into a s*x addiction in this essay i will
> 
> title is lyrics from riptide by grandson!! banger song

he sat motionless in the far corner of the couch, dull eyes fixed on the tv screen in front of him. he'd just gotten the divorce papers today, he hadn't filled them out yet, they just sat there on the table, lingering like black mold in his brain. signing them meant it was real, he'd finally broke the sad slow death that was his marriage. taub tried his hardest, tried quitting his job, getting a new one, opening it, closing it, nothing worked. cheating made him forget, just for a fleeting moment, that he peaked after med school, burning out like a red star soon after.

he felt the salty, bitter tears slide down his face before he even knew he was crying, face flushed, in the living room of a co-workers apartment. some of it dripped into his dry mouth. he laughed, a short, hollow bark of sound, he was even more pathetic than he thought. 

foreman walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, beer in hand, to find taub crying. he should have expected the inevitable breakdown, seeing taub violently block out any thought of Rachel for weeks after he brought up the Talk. 

"Hey."

the short man jumped in surprise. foreman put the beer on the small table and sat silently, thinking up a list of phrases he'd learned to comfort people. 

"It's gonna be ok, taub." he said.

taub looked up at the concern in his roommates eyes, and promptly burst into tears again, shame curling up and dying in his chest. 

foreman was frightened for a moment, at a loss of what to do. he pulled the crying man towards him, letting him practically lay on him while he sobbed. sorrow left his body in lurching waves as he cried. foreman rubbed slow circles on his back, shushing him softly.

"I'm a failure." taub croaked against his chest. 

"No, you're not." the back rubbing migrated to the back of taubs head, fingers combing through the short hair. taub grunted in frustration.

"I ruined my marriage because I'm too screwed up to just be happy, I'm stuck in a job I'm miserable at, and I'm slowly becoming a carbon copy of my deadbeat dad. Am I still  _ not  _ a failure?" taub said, voice strangled with tears. 

"I should have died in med school." 

foreman grabbed his chin and forced him to look up at him.

"don't say that. you matter to the world, you save lives! you're important to us," foreman said, staring into taubs bloodshot eyes. 

"you matter to  _ me _ . you're gonna get through this." foreman leaned forward carefully, and kissed taub on the forehead.

taub slumped back into the curve of the other man's body, letting the rest of his pent up tears fall silently. they sat there for a while like that, foreman still awkwardly petting taub's thinning hair. he still felt kinda shitty, but much less than before. 

"Can i sleep with you tonight? I-i don't trust myself alone." taub said.

"Yeah, just don't hog my sheets."

"I get cold easily, give me a break."


End file.
